The Rack Report with Rack Daddy
Just Leave This Page, It's Not Worth Looking At.
You're still here? Why? I told you to leave! Seriously, why would you want to stay on this page, besides my articles and my opinions? And my dashing good looks and my unbelievable brilliance and my sense of humour and my, okay I'm lying now. Anyway, if you're going to stay, then I guess you can take a look at the following:
STUFF ON THE RACK ATTACK:
-Profile
-Top Tens, Threes, and Fives
-My Tips On How To Annoy People
-"So You're Going To High School" Article
Profile
Ok, I'm just gonna run off some stuff about me. My name is Andrew Jesse Racknor, aka Rack, Racknor, Rack Attack, Rack Daddy, yadda yadda yadda. I was born in Shwaa then moved around then finally moved out here again. I was born August 19th 1988. im now in high school and it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. i have new friends, im doing better in school, and my Russian male order bride finally came in. I mean, uh, discussion of whales boarder the tides and finally framed him. Ya! thats wut i said. heh heh. Anyway, uh, i played football and rugby for eastdale. i also play soc(BEWARE THE SQUIRRELS)cer and hockey outside of school, and i play in the CCB. I play the saxophone, bass guitar (taught by me homey jules down south in the crib of my nizzel-shnizzel) and piano. I like any kind of music, but my main favourite is the old hard rock like AC/DC, April Wine, Queen and Guns N' Roses. I don't have a clue of what i want to when im older, but i like the idea of something to do with music, or a sports commentator. I'll probaby end up scrubbing Mcdonalds toilet seats though, but it pays the bills. I'll eat anything i can get my hands on except for asparagus. I mean, asparagus is just disgusting. Is it even edible? I can't stand putting it my mouth, I'll puke. Whoever discovered that you can eat asparagus should die. slowly. Anyway, every other food i will inhale quicker than u can say "i dont think u can inhale the food very quickly". well, i got nothing else to say, so i'll end it with meaningful touching words: baseball sucks.
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Best sport
I've ever played: Rugby.
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It's time for the top tens! I got movies, shows, toilet paper, sports, and more. I even got a little type-up of my thoughts on each one afterward, so check it out.
TOP TEN MOVIES OF ANY TIME
10)Spiderman-Toby Maguire
9)Xmen-Patrick Stewart
8)Matrix: Reloaded-Lawrence Fishburne
7)Legend of Drunken Master-Jackie Chan
6)Remember the Titans-Denzel Washington
5)Black Hawk Down-Josh Hartnett
4)X2-Hugh Jackman
3)The Matrix-Keanu Reeves
2)Dumb and Dumber-Jim Carey
1)Ocean's Eleven-George Clooney
The remake of Ocean's Eleven is brilliant. Great contrast of hardcore and laid back action, and a cast of all-stars. All the movies up there I like a lot, but Ocean's Eleven stands on top.
TOP TEN TELEVISION SHOWS OF ANY TIME
10)WWE Confidential
9)WWE Velocity
8)Much Music Countdown
7)Clone High
6)Family Guy
5)8 Simple Rules
4)Whose Line Is It Anyway?
3)That 70s Show
1)Simpsons
1)Undergrads
Undergrads and Simpsons are both hilarious. They both never run out of funny ideas for their shows. Much music countdown would be higher up, but the music of today sucks, all this crappy pop. But everything up there has it's unique style and they're all worth watching.
TOP FIVE SPORTS
5)Basketball
4)Soccer
3)Football
2)Hockey
1)Rugby
Soccer used to be my favourite sport, but then rugby made me realize that soccer was just too boring for me. Sports like rugby, football and hockey are sports that have really caught my eye. And might I had that baseball wouldn't be up there even if it was top ten instead of five.
TOP FIVE COMIC STRIPS OF TODAY'S PAPER
5)Hagar the Horrible-Chris Browne
4)Mother Goose and Grimm-Shane Peters
3)Zits-Scott Boreman
1)Sherman's Lagoon-Jim Toomey
1)Get Fuzzy-Darby Conley
I don't have much to say on this one, except that all these comics are hilarious.
TOP FIVE TOILET PAPER
5)Scott
4)Coronet
3)Charmin Plus
2)Charmin Ultra
1)Cottonelle
Cottonelle is the most comfortable toilet paper there is. It's like wiping your butt with silk. I won't use anything else, but I had to put something for the other four.
TOP THREE LINKS
3)www.geocities.com/boinjulesadv
2)www.clubcruisebasketball
1)www.geocities.com/theazurerealm
You probably don't know this, but the azurerealm is actually my brother Chris' site. He writes these stories called Primus. They're simply great stories. Check 'em out and please sign the guestbook with good comments to help my brother get noticed. And I think you know what the other sites are.
Well, those were my tops. Bet they weren't interesting, but you already wasted minutes of your time reading it! HAHAHAHA!
MY TIPS ON HOW TO ANNOY PEOPLE
Here are some ways to really annoy people big time...
-Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
-Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
-Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip..."
-If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
-Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
-Speak only in a "robot" voice.
-Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
-Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announcing its your property.
-Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
-Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
-Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
-Name your dog "Dog".
-Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up".
-Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think!"
-Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
-Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".
-Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
-Practice making fax and modem noises.
-Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and let your friend copy it.
-Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
-Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid looking ignorant.
-Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person".
-Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
-Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
-Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
-Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
-Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
-Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
-Take a sock puppet to dinner with you. When the waiter comes to ask you what you want, consult the sock. When the check comes, argue with the sock loud enough so everyone can hear you about who will pay the bill. Throw the sock down and say "Fine, you pay!" then leave.
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SO YOU'RE GOING TO HIGH SCHOOL
So, you've made it through elementary school, huh? Was it tough at times? Did you find it challenging? Did you struggle to overcome a few obstacles? Well, you better suck it up, princess, cause now it's time for the next big step in your life, high school.
High school can be difficult, boring, stressful, or fun, depending on how you look at it. I'm going to try to look at it from each point of view.
DIFFICULT
"I can't believe we get all this work now, I don't know any of this! The teachers are always talking and I have no clue what any of it means. The assiginments are too hard, the projects are too complex, and the exams are impossible, even if I study! How am I supposed to know all of this?" It's too difficult for me."
BORING
"Man, not another hour and twenty minutes of this class. All the teacher is talk and talk and talk and...*Snore* *Snore* Oops, fell asleep, I'm awake. God, the teacher keeps on saying the same things over and over again, and the assignments are so dull. Everything is so boring."
STRESSFUL
"Crap, I'm late for class again! The teacher's gonna kill me. But it's not like I'm purposely being late, the teacher from before held us back again. There's just too much work from that class, assignment thrown on you again and again, and the teacher didn't even say what they're about. Plus, times that by eight for all the other classes, even gym is a little tense at times! there's no way the teachers can expect me to do all their work plus other teachers' handouts on time. I have a life too you know, they're making everything stressful."
FUN
"I can't wait til' lunch, I'm gonna kick Mr. Gilbride's butt in badminton. It's great that the teachers here are really cool, I can talk to them and play sports with them and i don't have to feel intimidated. I can even insult some teachers in class and they'll insult me back. They're all really encouraging when it comes to work. They may not accept it late at times, but they'll always be there if you need extra help. Plus, I have a lot of new friends, and the extra curricular activities are great here. Sports, clubs, councils, camps, everything makes it a fun place.
Okay, I tried hard to put myself in difficult boring and stressful's shoes, but I'm in the fun category without a doubt. I can't think of a very good closing line.
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Best video game I've ever played: Super Smash Brothers.
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Best movie I've ever seen: Ocean's Eleven.